| Wow livejournal.... |
[Dec. 4th, 2008|07:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | casa de amalia | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indifferent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | queen | ] |
I forgot that livejournal even existed anymore. I haven't posted in 2 years. I guess that's a good sign. I'm in Spain now. It's okay. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up on it because I've been studying it for so long to not much avail. I should really be doing my work and ignoring all the things that are troubling my mind. what's troubling my mind? January, February, and piso stuff. At least I have a piso now. That's good, but I'm really nervous about it. Maybe I should have just gone back to Smith. It seems like the saner thing to do. I feel like I've lost my independence now that I'm in a real relationship. I don't like it, it makes me feel weak and boring. I don't know how to balance it. I'm so tired right now and I have a nervous feeling in my core. I miss my friends back home and wish I talked with them more. I feel like I've really lost touch with most of them.
Live journal reminds me of high school. Sometimes I have dreams with people from high school. I wish I could see some people again, but there would be no point. I liked them. Now there is fakebook, to unite us all together, right?
I was going to play my clarinet, but my roomate is sleeping. I saw a street performer (which is super raro en Cordoba) and I liked the music he was ... standing/statue-ing to. I kept it in my head so I could play it when I got home, but maybe tomorrow. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|11:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ventura Highway | ] |
haha, I'm updating because I'm cool, and I don't feel like taking a shower just yet. College is cool. I could never write in a journal every day, even though it's a really nice idea. Memories are swell. I like my sociology class. It makes ya think about a lot of things that you might have never thought about. Or things that you push away. Like social injustices...it's scary how you can retreat to your social bubble and block out realities. The capitalist society makes us selfish if you think about it. People woudln't stand up for people who don't have the same labor privileges, because it would endanger their own self interests. Silly capitalism. I wish high school had been structured differently, because a lot of people write really insightful essays. Yeah, some are pretty dry, but it's really interesting. High school was all memorization, memorizing the basics, and college is more thinking and developing the mind. I like it. I went to a human rights protest last week and held a sign that said "There is no evidence when it is extracted through torture." And we did chanted "Torture not in our name." I think I was the only Smith student there, or maybe not. It was mainly older folks and they had props and costumes. I took pictures, but on my cell phone. I should go to sleep, I need to wake up early tomorrow :) |
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| hahaha |
[Jun. 30th, 2006|10:46 pm] |
yay : D says:
have you ever heard of louisXIV?
yay : D says:
and KT Tunstall?
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
Louis the 14th yes
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
not the latter
yay : D says:
do you like louis?
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
well, yes and no
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
no wait
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
I should Say, I liked him before the syphallis
yay : D says:
haha
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
mostly because he didnt kill the one he loved when she bore him no sons. excluding the one that was weak and died.
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
that was nice of him
yay : D says:
no, i mean the band
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
not many kings would do the same
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
Lol...
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
great.
Thinking You Would Be Real Happy And Healthy, Strong And Calm, Where Does The Good Go? says:
lol. i dont know them |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 27th, 2006|08:08 pm] |
well. i guess i'll write about what happened today.
i went to the river today, and wept. i origingally wanted to go down and throw rocks in the river, because i thought i was angry. but it was a destructive anger, it wasn't even anger. i was just really disappointed over petty things. disappointed about people. as soon as i exited school, with a hard push on the door (i must do that at least once a week ha) and then i just yelled "fucking cunt." and it was loud, but i guess no one heard me, which was good. but i wouldn't have cared anyway. so i decided to go down to the river, and i actually parallel parked, well too. and it was nice by the river. i wasn't sure how i felt but then as soon as i went over to the rail, i was overwhelmed with a weird sadness. i was upset over people, and the way they are, and i'm all right now, but i was really upset about it before. and then i thought about the different people that come by the river. there's the people, the real river people, like me, who just go there and think and they just stare out. or the people who lay down and rest. and they don't bother anyone, no one bothers anyone else. we just stare out into the water, onto the mountains, because it's so peaceful and freeing. and then there are the people, who go there because it's nice and it's a place to socialize. and there are the kids who scoop the loop and play loud music. and the people like me, who were just there for their own reason, thinking and staring, the whole idea made me sad. and it wasn't like i was thinking about it either, as soon as i got onto the platform and saw the people who were there, i just started crying.
then i walked over to the other side and sat on the bench and just stared into the water. and a guy on another bench who must've been staring out for a good hour kept looking at me every so often. i don't know who he was, but he looked familiar. the river is so fascinating. it just keeps going, it's never still. it's so determined. it never stops.
then for some reason i went back over to the other spot and that guy left and i laid on a bench and stared up at the sky. it was pretty and i thought i saw birds in the sky, but then i realized birds don't fly that high. so as i was lying there i realized something really important.. realized what makes a good person: kindness, trueness, generousity, tolerance, and understanding. the other stuff...it doesn't matter. you know, if you're smarter, you have more money, you have better fashion sense, you're prettier, you have cooler interests...none of that matters. none of those things make anyone a better person than someone else. the only way you're above or better than someone else is if you have those 5 qualities. and even when you do have all those qualities to the fullest extent, you don't feel like you're better than anyone else. everyone just realizes it, and tries to live up to it. |
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| hmph |
[Apr. 8th, 2006|11:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exanimate | ] |
| [ | music |
| | west side story- one hand, one heart | ] |
you're..so depressing. you know that? yeah, it's you, but you're really depressing. you give me the weirdest feeling. never good enough for you. never intellectual enough for you. i can't even look at you. it's really uncomfortable..walking down the hallway, and seeing you. i just look straight ahead, with my eyes wide open staring ahead. avoiding eye contact at all costs. or looking down to the floor. i'll never understand you. you'll always be convinced that you understand me. you're a mystery. i wish you'd say a word to me. just a word, a meaningful word. like "hi." because, it's actually a meaningful word. just saying hello to someone, it's a nice gesture. you hang out with such bitchy girls now. cliquish girls with nice shoes and who laugh at stupid things and are just annoying brats. you make me want to take a walk in the rain. a really long walk, as to clear my head completely. long walks in the rain depress me. you depress me, to an extent. your voice is really soft. and you really don't know a whole lot. you're really fake in that sense...it must be a security thing. i don't know why it matters that much, it's not like people will like you more if you know a bunch. you're mysterious. you have a mind, a real mind. you don't keep committments. you're selfish. you're too much about being true to yourself, but i guess that's the only thing that keeps you happy. you're the last person i'd want to be alone with in a room, for a long period of time. i wish i could forget people like you. but you left some weird impact on me, that gives me the weird feeling. i don't even know any other people like you, so i guess, i wish i could forget you. forget your name, forget the variations of your name, forget what you look like, forget your sn, forget memories. because, they're so worthless. like fake memories, i don't even know. it doesn't matter in the end. lol, like my yearbook. wtf lol. it's funny, really. i should just rip that page out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 18th, 2006|09:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | fine | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I hear noises | ] |
woo. well, i'm in an interesting mood. quite jolly, but weird at the same time. i just walked around my house with my recorder to see if i could find someone. because i heard a weird noise, so then i was like 'oh maybe someone broke in. let me look around the house and check it out.' and, of course the only thing hard that i could find in my room besides my beautiful big red peace sign, was my recorder lol. and yes, i know i'm crazy, because no one will ever break in, because the doors are always locked, but i dunno, i'm weird like that. and not that my recorder would ever hurt anyone, but i guess it would work. it's like at the hardware store this past summer, where i was afraid someone was in the warehouse outside, and i took this container of grease with me, to bop the guy in the head with, and Bill laughed at me. lol. i guess i should have taken a hammer, but i wouldn't want to hurt anyone that bad, but it turned out to just be someone who had left their car at the store over night. i can't play the recorder. haha, but it doesn't matter. oo, i have a lesson tomorrow, that's fun. lol oh and as i was searching my house, i had some paper in the pouch of my sweatshirt, lol yes some paper. some paper with interesting material on it :P, and it would have been sorta funny if i got killed and people found that paper in my pouch, hahaha. lol, but anyway, i'm alive, and i will dispose of the paper after i type it up, so s'all good bitches.
i went shopping today, and bought stuff. including a lesbian romance book :D. I liked the title...She loves me, she loves me not. actually, it was the closest thing i could come to, that was erotica but didn't say erotica on the front cover. not as close as i would have liked it to be though. it's a pretty cool book, it has short stories in it. some are funny, others more serious, but they're cool anyhow. i also bought presents for sr. d and mme.c. oh, i forgot blanched almonds. ah well, another time. but i bought sr. d. a book with work from Pablo Neruda, and mme. c a book about Monet. but i might give it to my mom, cos she likes art too. and then i bought like 3 books for my AP classes. The AP Calc one is huge, but i guess because it covers AB and BC. i started reading it, and it's good. Lots of reminders that i forgot about..from last year :/. i wish piper were on, but she's prolly doing something cool/important/piperish. yup yup. i could write more. and maybe i will.
i think my parents just got home. i should have done the dishes. eh. i should do my work, and my scholarships. but it's saturday night, lol. whatever. lala. i don't feel like writing more actually. maybe in my other journal, where being discreet DNE. that's right suckers, later. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 5th, 2006|04:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
always means all the time, at all times. not forever. |
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| when something's going wrong, you must whip it! |
[Feb. 22nd, 2006|11:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Presence of The Lord- Eric Clapton | ] |
yeah. whipping solves life's problems. i feel bad that i haven't been out on a field in a while. but there's not much i can do about it anyway. i just played a lil now, lol, but there's not a lot i can do in my basement, with a deflated soccer ball. it's still round, sort of. i remember after prom party, when me and liz were playing soccer at like 2 in the morning lol. she was kicking the Basketball at me lol. and basketballs are hard, lol they hurt against bare hands. and i remember she was yelling "yeah Jen, cut off the angle!!" haha. and there wasn't any angle to cut off because she was so close, and i was like "Liz you're too close, don't kick... ahh oww" *dive fall* owies. lol. and then michelle cringing and telling me not to dive on the gym floor lol. and ms. yen yelling out the bingo numbers. and that pretty girl, who's even prettier now. lol, and then before, talking to shawna and them and how her and maureen changed in the limo. hahaha. while patrick and john were in the car. jeez. i wish we would have went to walmart. it would have been rather comical.
a few nights ago when i was on the couch, i got a random flashback to when me and my brother were younger. and it was a warm day, not quite summer time, but it must have been around May. Because it was warm out, and i remember that my mother wasn't home. And I think my brother called her, lol, to ask her if it was warm enough for us to wear shorts. haha. and it was. And since it was warm, and we were both up, and since we had bagels in the freezer, we decided to have bagels, in the basement. Because, the basement is greattt in the summer time, nice and cool. So we had our bagels in the basement, and set up the green card table, and ate on it. It was really swell. that must have been...8 years ago. haha, how time goes by.
mm, so i guess i'm going to go out tomorrow night. With Johanna. I have not talked to her in soo long. But i saw her at school on friday, and almost convinced her to skip class and come down to the river with me. but i'm glad she went to class anyway lol. so, we're going to do something tomorrow. I'm not sure what. because, it's hard to find things to do around here. and people are all away. bunches of folk are in florida and others in VT on the ski trip. And, well there's nothing to do in town, except go to the river lol. which is fun, if you're in the mood for it. so maybe there's a movie out. but i hate sitting inside and watching movies. lol, there's a skating park up in hyde park. but i don't want to drive up there...it's really far. like a good 50 minutes away. and the movies aren't that far, so that's always good. But, i'd like to get a translator, so maybe we'll go the mall. I planned on going tonight, but both of my parents were going to be out, so they didn't want me to go out too. so then i was going to visit my grandparents, but nanny wasn't feeling well. but i'll go up another night, and play some music for them or something. So hopefully me and johanna can come to the mall. I don't think she'll care what we do. i don't think any of us care what we do, as long as it's something entertaining. i don't know. Like walking around by the river with Ilse, it was entertaining. i took pictures and got cold. it was fun. and she found a lantern and took it home with her. so, yeah, it was good... I say "so" a lot. and "and." but not as much as "but." See, if i went to best buy though, i was thinking of picking up an L Word season 1 dvd thing, but i don't know if i want to do that around yohan. because...even though she said she was okay with it..well, i won't get into it on this account. i mean, it's all right if i buy it, but i'm not 100% comfortable about buying it, but i probably will anyway. Maybe...i just need to ask people about it. i might not want to spend 40 bucks either, haha.
well, it's getting late. or early. escoral (SP????) soup is quite good. though, it wasn't escoral (SP????) soup, it was E. with beans. because E.S. has lil meat balls in it. Eric Clapton is pretty cool. i think that's who i'm listening to. Yeah. I get him mixed up with Van Morrison sometimes. lol. Ace is such a cool name. I wish my name was Ace, instead of Jennifer. jennifer is german. I'm not german! my parents were going to name me Sarafina (nice isn't it??), after my grandfather, but they thought it was too Italian. I would have taken it as my confirmation name, but i didn't know you could a different name than what your sponsor's name was. Like, i took my grandmother's name, Rose, and she was also my sponsor. But i should have taken Sarafina, and she would have liked that anyway. It probably would have made her cry actually. But, it would have been all right. Crying over memories, it's all right. I don't know why people hold back tears when they're crying over memories. They shouldn't. My brother cried at my grandfather's funeral. I was glad, because it seemed like he needed to get it out. He just broke down and cried, and i remember his face crinkling and him just making a sort of wail. aww. It's weird that you're not supposed to cry at wakes. If i don't cry, i sort of laugh. i don't mean to, of course, but it's just a me thing. when i was at my grandfather's wake, i remember..I was sobbing. And this Italian woman came up to me. This woman who spoke extremely broken English and just kept saying "sarafino, good man. sarafino.." like over and over again, and no one knew who she was. and she came over to me and and just put her hand on my head and said something. i don't remember what, something in italian/english trying to allay me. and i just cried harder. just thinking about that time makes me cry. interesting stuff.
I've got these cool glasses. They have thick white rims and purple eye glass rims. i guess they're ski glasses. But i don't ski, so i wear them when i can't find normal ski glasses, or if i just feel like looking silly. i don't think anyone cares about my weird glasses, but i just felt like leaving this journal entry off on a fairly jolly note. Good day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2006|10:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
jeez, it's so cold down here. in case anyone was wondering: the reason why i don't turn the heat up is because if i do, i'll forget to turn it down. and then my parents will be annoyed. in case anyone was still wondering: i'm not horribly absent minded, really. it's just that not turning up the heat has become a habit, so that now if i do turn it up, i'll forget. anyway.
talking to that kid is like talking to tat. aye.!!! drives me nuts sometimes. people who think they know everrything. it's annoying. Annoying! god damn it, you fools. and that, that means nothing to you. and i don't care. your heads are like diamonds.
so yes. it does feel like summer. and we are talking about plot sites. and stuff related to that. which is kinda sad i guess. i don't like talking about it. or well i can, but not with a lot of emotion. which is weird, because it makes it seem like i'm indifferent or happy, but i'm really not. ah well, let's hope stuff won't happen for a little while.
i'm cold and tired and i don't feel like doing anything more. good night. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | all right | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mom On The--Squeaking Floors | ] |
today has been a really emotional day to say the least. i hope i will be more stable tomorrow.
anyway, it feels like friday, and i wish it was, because it's pretty late and i have school tomorrow. and tomorrow will be a long day. i had a lot of things on my mind before i came down here, and i just remembered them. but i'm not going to write in them. if my mother was asleep, and if it were earlier, i'd take a surf to diaryland and write there. but then i think i'd just get upset. so i'll just ramble here i suppose. i don't know. there is a lot of stuff in the back of my mind that i want to bring up and talk about, but another part of me doesn't want to, because i'm afraid i'll just break down. and they're not even terrible things or anything like that. just things that i normally think about that are in the back back part of my mind that i don't get a chance to talk about. but now when i really want to talk about them, i actually don't want to because i know i'll feel weird. so maybe i should just go to sleep and know that i'll feel better in a few days. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|11:57 am] |
i always see things in my mind. or i get a feeling about things. and some things are really deeply felt and i know that they are going to happen. later on in life. but it only goes till i'm like 40. so i wonder if i'll only live till 40. which i think will be all right, because i also feel like i'll get accomplished what i want to before i'm 40. but then other things come in my mind. like horrible things, that i imagine will happen and i think about who i'd react to them. like someone being murdered or something, and how horrible it would be. and that's scary. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|12:09 pm] |
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it's really nice to have a car |
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| i don't feel like sleeping |
[Jan. 29th, 2006|12:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | well | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Walking With A Ghost - T & S | ] |
| extremely long survey | | ABOUT YOU | | Your full name:: | Jennifer Ann La Grease | | Age:: | 17 | | Height:: | 5' 6" | | Natural hair colour:: | brown | | Eye colour:: | blue | | Number of siblings:: | 1 | | Glasses/contacts?:: | Neither | | Piercings:: | ear lobes | | Tattoos:: | a mickey mouse one that's fading currently on my arm | | Braces?:: | gah, yes. | | FAVOURITE | | Colour:: | bluee | | Band:: | tegan and sara | | Song:: | whip it-devo | | Stuffed animal:: | puppy dog :D | | Video game:: | um...that star wars demo is pretty cool | | TV show:: | grey's anatomy, even though i hardly watch it | | Movie:: | The Breakfast Club | | Book:: | sadako and the 1000 paper cranes--a lil kid book, but i still <3 it | | Food:: | pizza, duh | | Game on a cell phone:: | brick attack | | CD cover:: | eh? mm...well, ani difranco's knuckle down cd cover was pretty cool, though i didn't feel it reflected the music well :S | | Flower:: | jeez, hmm. ohh, bleeding hearts | | Scent:: | people | | Animal:: | people always ask me this, and i really don't know, but i like dogs. | | Comic book:: | Archie and Jughead :) | | Cereal:: | Crispix! | | Website:: | figging.com--just kidding lol. hmm, TD is pretty spiff | | Cartoon:: | Simpsons | | DO YOU | | Play an instrument?:: | yep, a few | | Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: | haha, yeah right. | | Like to sing?:: | not really | | Have a job?:: | side jobs yes | | Have a cell phone?:: | yeah, but it doesn't work, lol | | Like to play sports?:: | no, love to play 'em | | Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: | no | | Have a crush on someone?:: | actually, no | | Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: | yo, the US rox | | Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: | no, but we used to. haha | | Have any special talents/skills?:: | No. none at all. | | Excercise daily?:: | yep :) | | Like school?:: | haha no. | | CAN YOU | | Sing the alphabet backwards?:: | yes! it's good, in case you ever get pulled over for being drunk or something... | | Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: | no | | Speak any other languages?:: | sort of | | Go a day without food?:: | prolly | | Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: | prolly | | Read music, not just tabs?:: | yeah | | Roll your tongue?:: | clarrro | | Eat a whole pizza?:: | eww! god no!! who can do that??? | | HAVE YOU EVER | | Snuck out of the house?:: | i've never really had a need to | | Cried to get out of trouble?:: | yeah | | Gotten lost in your city?:: | i don't think that's possible. | | Seen a shooting star?:: | can't remember, so prolly not | | Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: | does Epcott count? i went to 10 countries there. i even have my passport to prove it! | | Had a serious surgery?:: | got my teeth pulled, and i chain hooked onto my perms | | Stolen something important to someone else?:: | noo | | Solved a rubiks cube?:: | haha no | | Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: | yeah | | Cried over a girl?:: | yess | | Cried over a boy?:: | no, i don't believe so. | | Kissed a random stranger?:: | yes. i thought the man was my uncle...he wasn't | | Hugged a random stranger?:: | yeah | | Been in a fist fight?:: | nope | | Been arrested?:: | no | | Done drugs?:: | noo | | Had alcohol?:: | yes | | Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: | haha yes, lol it's so gross | | Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: | haha yes! very funny | | Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: | lol, i'm not that dumb | | Swore at your parents?:: | might have, but not too horribly. like "what the hell?" not directly, i s'pose | | Been to warped tour?:: | a what? | | Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: | my brother yeah, but i felt bad afterwards | | Been in love?:: | yeah | | Been close to love?:: | yeah | | Been to a casino?:: | Yes! Atlantic City rox | | Ran over an animal and killed it?:: | no, i haven't yet! i'm proud lol | | Broken a bone?:: | yes. my fingers..i always end up breaking them in sports :/ | | Gotten stitches?:: | nope | | Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: | ahh, owies | | Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: | lol ahhh no | | Made homemade muffins?:: | yes :), Corn in fact--tres good | | Bitten someone?:: | no | | Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: | yes | | More than 5 times?:: | no, but i know lotsa folks who have | | Been to niagra falls?:: | no, but i would like to | | Burped in someones face?:: | no, ew that's gross | | Gotten the chicken pox?:: | yup | | WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU | | Brushed your teeth:: | 10:30 | | Went to the bathroom:: | 10:20 | | Saw a movie in theaters:: | This afternoon actually | | Read a book:: | Thursday..i read The Stranger..it was good | | Had a snow day:: | last monday | | Had a party:: | gah, it's been a while. | | Had a slumber party:: | it's been a really long while. | | Made fun of someone:: | dinner lol | | Tripped in front of someone:: | a few weeks ago, and it was like 3 times, me tripping up the stairs | | Went to the grocery store:: | thursday | | Got sick:: | currently | | Cursed:: | currently | | PICK ONE | | Fruit/vegetables:: | fruit | | Black/white:: | black | | Lights on/lights off:: | on | | TV/movie:: | tv | | Car/truck:: | car | | Body spray/lotion:: | spray | | Cash/check:: | cashhh | | Pillows/blankets:: | pillows :D | | Headache/stomach ache:: | tummy ache | | Paint/charcoal:: | oo, charcoal sounds messy | | Chinese food/mexican food:: | mexxx | | Summer/winter:: | winter | | Snow/rain:: | rain!! :D | | Fog/misty:: | misty. fog sux for driving :/ | | Rock/rap:: | rock | | Meat/vegetarian:: | Meat fo sho | | Boy/girl:: | girl | | Chocolate/vanilla:: | vanilla | | Sprinkles/icing:: | icing mmm | | Cake/pie:: | Pie! i guess. well maybe cakes, i dunno, it's too hard a choice | | French toast/french fries:: | ohh, they're both so good! | | Strawberries/blueberries:: | strawberries, even though it gets stuck in my braces :/ | | Ocean/swimming pool:: | pool | | Hugs/kisses:: | hugs | | Cookies/muffins:: | cookies | | p33n/bewbz:: | p33n is d1ck? thats nuts *no pun intended*, it doesn't even make sense. if i had written this survey i wouldve wrote P33n15. but um, i'll go with "bewbz"... | | Wallet/pocket:: | wallet | | Window/door:: | window | | Emo/goth:: | hmm goth | | Pink/purple:: | purple | | Cat/dog:: | dog | | Long sleeve/short sleeve:: | short | | Pants/shorts:: | pants | | Winter break/spring break:: | winter break | | Spring/autumn:: | autumn--allergies kill moi in spring haha | | Clouds/clear sky:: | clouds--clouds are so eatable by the way, yes. i just want to eat them :D | | Moon/mars:: | moon | | FRIENDSHIP | | How many friends do you have?:: | ha, not many | | What are their names?:: | jo, shmo, loe, bo, and go | | Do you have a best friend?:: | yeah | | Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: | yeah | | Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: | i don't have any guy friends | | Have you ever lost a friend?:: | yes. | | Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: | lol yes. with pollini haha | | Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: | OH NO! YOU'RE VIRGIN EYES WILL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE! | | Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:: | yes. | | Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?:: | been there | | Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: | been there | | Do you miss any of your old friends?:: | sometimes | | What friend have you known the longest?:: | ilse | | Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?:: | yeah | | If so, what is it?:: | something i said | | How often do you spend time with your friends?:: | school and outside of school sometimes.. | | Do any of your friends drive?:: | um, yeah, just like 1 though | | Has a friend of yours ever died?:: | no, thank goodness! | | Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?:: | decided to go to stony point when it was dark out | | What do you think your friends think of you?:: | weird :/ | | LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP | | Have you ever been in love?:: | yeah | | If you have, with who?:: | that girl | | Are you single?:: | yeah | | Are you in a relationship?:: | no | | If so, for how long?:: | n/a | | Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:: | no, i don't | | What is your idea of the best date?:: | hmm, just something nice | | What was your first kiss like?:: | yeah, n/a | | How old were you when you got your first kiss?:: | gah, n/a | | Do you think love is a load of shit?:: | no | | Whats the best experiance youve ever had with the opposite sex?:: | um, a kiss on the cheek. except it wasn't really a great experience | | If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?:: | no | | Have you ever been dumped?:: | no | | Have you ever dumped someone?:: | no | | Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?:: | a kiss on the cheek, but it was friendly anyway | | WORD ASSOCIATION | | Slippers:: | chinese | | Hat:: | baseball | | Hard:: | metal | | Free:: | food | | Space:: | balls | | Taste:: | lips | | Good charlotte:: | greenday | | Red:: | heart | | Deep:: | water | | Heart:: | blood drive | | Cord:: | snake | | Cheese:: | cheese | | Rain:: | gorgeous | | Work:: | babysitting | | Pedal:: | bike | | Head:: | hat | | Bed:: | sleeeep | | Fluff:: | pokemon | | Hardcore:: | soccer games | | Race:: | track | | Knife:: | blood | | Jump:: | trampoline | | I.... | | am:: | a girl | | want:: | to sleep | | need:: | to do well on my AP's | | crave:: | doing stuff | | love:: | some folk | | hate:: | i'm not sure. i guess when horrible things happen to people that don't deserve it. | | did:: | stuff today | | feel:: | pretty tired | | miss:: | certain people | | am annoyed by:: | certain people | | would rather:: | have to clip my toe nails everyday than have acne | | am tired of:: | fakeness | | will always:: | laugh at stuff | | SILLY STUFF | | What is your favourite genre of music?:: | pop | | What time is it now?:: | 12:41 | | What day is it?:: | sunday | | Whens the last time you called someone?:: | 6:30 PM | | How much money do you have right now?:: | i don't have money, but i've got lots of land | | Are you hungry?:: | no | | Whatcha doin?:: | this survey dumbass | | Do you like parades?:: | yes! | | Do you like the moon?:: | yeah, it's nice | | What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: | go to sleep | | Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: | yeah, *laughs hysterically* | | If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: | to transport myself anywhere. that would have been great, then you know, i wouldn't be a virgin in everything, yep that would have been useful | | Have you ever had a picnic?:: | yeah, lol. in my basement was the last time haha | | Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: | yesss, much fun | | What about sock em boppers?:: | eh? oh wait, yeah, i think so | | Are you wearing any socks right now?:: | yes, cos my feet will turn purple! if i don't wear them in the basement, cos it's cold down here | | DO YOU THINK YOU ARE | | funny?:: | i can be | | pretty?:: | sometimes i guess, lol when i have make up and my hair isn't a curl ball. | | sarcastic?:: | i don't like to be | | lazy?:: | sometimes | | hyper?:: | not really lol | | friendly?:: | yeah | | evil?:: | mm no | | smart?:: | *shrug* | | strong?:: | physically yes, mentally sort of | | talented?:: | *shrug* | | dorky?:: | sometimes | | ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know) | | high:: | dan | | skip:: | grace | | dance:: | piper | | lonely:: | pol | | pen:: | beth | | flower:: | nana | | window:: | sam | | psycho:: | lol, mackenzie :P | | brain freeze:: | myself | | orange:: | kim | | sassy:: | that girl | | jelly:: | um, a sumo wrestler | | FOR OR AGAINST | | suicide:: | against | | love:: | for | | drunk drivers:: | Against! | | airplanes:: | i dunno, they're good i guess | | war:: | i don't know | | canada:: | Canada eh? | | united states:: | stupid americans | | rock music:: | for | | gay marriage:: | duh, for | | school:: | it needs to be reformed! | | surveys:: | totally for | | parents:: | for | | cars:: | against! that's why americans are fat lol | | killing:: | that's a hard one | | britney spears:: | she's hot | | coffee:: | for | | pants:: | for | | WOULD YOU EVER | | Sky dive?:: | no | | Play strip poker?:: | yes | | Run away?:: | lol, there's no where to go | | Curse at a teacher?:: | not this year, they're all decent. | | Not take a shower for a week?:: | yeah | | Ask someone out?:: | yeah | | Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: | a white lie perhaps, i dunno | | Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: | totally | | Go scuba diving?:: | no | | Write a book?:: | wouldn't have the patience | | Become a rockstar?:: | lol no | | Have casual sex?:: | i don't know | | LAST QUESTIONS | | What shampoo do you use?:: | i dunno, it's blue | | Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:: | it's been a while, lol | | What kind of computer do you have?:: | HP | | What grade are you in?:: | 12 | | Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: | no, that's dumb | | Or just make out?:: | *throws popcorn at the surveyors* | | How many posters do you have in your room?:: | like 10 | | How many cds do you have?:: | a bunch | | What time is it now?:: | 12 minutes later than before | Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d |
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| what's new? it's cold in my basement, but i like the cold. |
[Jan. 27th, 2006|12:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Clocks-Cold Play | ] |
it's friday. i guess i feel like writing. i thought in my mind, that i would like to write. i read The Stranger, cos i remembered that i had to read it for English. It reminded me of people, so I liked it. Even though it was kind of detached and about an indifferent guy. indifference is such a crazy feeling. i was cleaning my room today. those drawers, that i don't venture in, too often. just to find a pin, or a squirt gun, or a clarinet reed. but i went through them all today. and of course, in one of them, i found all my old poems. and i put them in a folder. i like reading my old poetry. it's all angry and depressed lol. and i found those comics. they made me laugh. lol. silly me and my comics. well i only did them, because i had too much time on my hands >_>, oh and because i'm a psychopath. hah-good times *rolls eyes*. and i found the other half of my letter to kimmy, that i never gave to her. but i probably should have. it doesn't matter, really. and then i found a poem from 2005, when i was really indifferent about everything, and it's such a depressing and empty feeling. i wrote a poem last night. i like it. because, it is the first poem that i've ever written, that is happy. and not only is it happy, but it has meaning to it. like, yeah some poems have been happy, but like i just wrote them and they were dumb. but this one is actually meaningful. i might submit it to lit mag, because of their intimidating flyers "SUBMIT OR DIE." but actually, because i feel like it, and they only have a few submissions lol. and i only cursed once!
it's funny how i intend to write about things, and then once my fingers are set to type, they want to put other things down. silly fingers. i could be thinking whatever i want in my mind, and these fingers are just moving along, pressing keys. one day, when someone is talking and it's totally boring, i'm just going to listen to the way the person talks. because i think it would be interesting to just hear the sounds, and not understand it. how is english even words? i want to listen and lose my mind i guess. so i don't understand the words, and so i only hear the sounds and can only comprehend them. yes. i guess i could just do that by listening to a foreign language, but i want to separate myself from what i already know.
i should go shopping tomorrow, to buy jeans. men's jeans perhaps, cos they look comfy. sometimes, when i get dressed in the morning, and i'm wearing my fairly baggy jeans, a t-shirt and my soccer jacket, i like..wish that i wasn't a girl. lol, just so it would look good. like, i think it would be a great fashion for a guy. except, i have a bit of a chest. lol a bit. on the days where i dress like that, i wish i could be a guy for a day, just to look hot. but instead, i just end up looking like a girl in baggy pants. or maybe a dyke, i dunno. there's this girl in 7th grade or something, and her clothes and image screams dyke. i wouldn't be surprised if she turned out gay, lol, it would be interesting if my gaydar worked also.
well, it's getting late. there's no one to talk to. ilse just signed off a while ago, randomly. i always feel kinda bad, cos i don't know how to respond to everything she says. but, i do read it all, and comprehend it and remember it. i just don't know what to say to it. *sigh* i should charge my phone. yeah. no one's on AIM really. but then again, i don't really talk to people much on AIM. i talked to katie though, she's up at stony brook. that's real cool. i like this song, Clocks. i think i'm going to go to bed. because i wrote about everything that i intended to write. i think i'll be able to sleep. i wasn't able to siesta that well this evening. but maybe i'll rhyme. i forgot what i was going to rhyme with. sip, pep, pop, pap, pup. yes that's right. it was going to be those sort of sounds, and a competition between the syllables. that must sound silly, but it tires me out when i'm lying in bed. so then i can just sleep nice when i'm exhausted/bored from rhyming. good night. |
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| i wonder what the bml stands for |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|11:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | tegan and sara | ] |
yeah, i really do. haha spoons are shiny. it's snowy here. it was foggy last night and rainy this morning/afternoon. and now it's a white out. silly weather. looks like i'm not going out for a while. but that's perfectly fine. last night was cool. i just wrote about it, but then deleted it. because no one cares. and because i dunno. it's just not the type of thing to write about in an lj, to me at least. i should keep a real journal, so i can look back at it and read it. lol maybe. my mom's awake. so am i. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|12:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | what the fuck do you think? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the oh oh oh rap | ] |
oh oh oh, it's fucking cold. in my basement, oh yeah. oh oh oh, it's fucking late. at night, oh yeah. oh oh oh, things are fucking. up up up, oh yeah. oh oh oh, there's fucking swelling. in my heart, oh yeah. oh oh oh it's not so bad. righ now at least, oh yeah. oh oh oh it's only fucking monday. the end of the week is 5 days away, oh yeah. oh oh oh, i have fucking school. tomorrow, oh yeah. oh oh oh, it's time to fucking sleep. in my bed, oh yeah. |
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| oh good, it's 2006. |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|08:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  silly | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fusion! :D | ] |
i'm graduating in 6 monhts. hmm. 2005 sucked. yeah. totally. i mean..the only good things were that i got into college. and we did sort of well in soccer. well, we beat rye neck, so that's good. we lost to that other team, which sucked, but oh well. i still remember laying on that weird ground..grr. anyway. but otherwise..yeah 2005 was pretty un-cool. 2006 sounds nice, and you know i never got used to 2005. i hope 2006 is splendid. i don't think anything could go horrible, because there's nothing to ruin. well, unless like i do really horribly in school and then smith doesn't take me, but that's prolly not going to happen. and hopefully i won't die, cos that would be annoying. and things can't get any worse with friends, or like they could, but that already happened a few times in 2005. so who knows what'll happen. great. i cleaned today. except my room doesn't look any cleaner even though i had like a garbage bag full of junk. i cleaned out my drawers. i found like essays from 6th grade and my writing isn't that much better. and my writing sounds like me. like, i found this one where i wrote about a safari. and the conclusion was like:
"so now you know how i spent my week in africa. i almost got killed. and not only that, but now laura's parents don't trust my family anymore, so i'll prolly never see her again. so, i kinda lost a friend too. but despite almost getting killed, i have to admit, i had a good time anyway." lol god. i'm so crazy. |
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| naruto is downloading |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|09:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the music in my head...Beverly Hills Shakedown | ] |
so, i'm going to do this movie thingy. because i don't feel like writing about anything else right now.
(x)Pirates of the Caribbean
( )Boondock Saints
( )The Mexican
( )Fight Club
( )Starsky and Hutch
( )Neverending Story
(X)Blazing Saddles
( )Garden State
( )The Princess Bride
(x)Young Frankenstien
(x)AnchorMan
( )Napoleon Dynamite
( )Saw
( )White Noise
( )White Oleander
(x)Anger Management
( )50 First Dates
( )Jason X
( )Scream
(x)Scream 2
( )Scream 3
(x)Scary Movie
(x)Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
(x)American Pie
(x)American Pie 2
( )American Wedding
( )Harry Potter
( )Harry Potter 2
( )Harry Potter 3
( )Resident Evil
( )Resident Evil 2
( )The Wedding Singer
( )Little Black Book
( )The Village
( )Donnie Darko
( )Lilo & Stitch
(x)Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
( )13 Ghosts
( )Signs
(x)The Grinch
( )Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x)White Chicks
( )Butterfly Effect
( )13 Going On 30
( )I, Robot
( )Dodgeball
( )Universal Soldier
( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( )Along Came A Spider
( )Deep impact
( )King Pin
( )Never Been Kissed
(x)Meet the parents
( )Meet the Fockers
( )Eight Crazy Nights
( )A Cinderella Story
( )The Terminal
( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( )Passport to Paris
(x)Dumb and Dumber
(x)Dumb and Dumberer
( )Final Destination
( )Final Destination 2
( )Halloween
( )The Ring
( )The Ring 2
( )Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
( )Practical Magic
(x)Chicago
( )Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
( )Hellboy
(x)Secret Window
( )Sam I Am
( )Whole Nine Yards
( )The Whole Ten Yards
( )The Day After Tomorrow
( )Child's Play
( )Bride of Chucky
(X!!!)Ten Things I Hate About You
( )Just Married
( )Gothika
( )Nightmare on Elm Street
( )Sixteen Candles
( )Bad Boys
( )Bad Boys 2
(X!!)Joy Ride
( )Seven
( )Oceans Eleven
( )Oceans Twelve
( )Identity
( )Lone Star
( )Predator I
( )Predator II
( )Independence day
( )Cujo
( )A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
( )Christine
( )ET
( )Children of the Corn
( )My boss' daughter
( )Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
( )Best Bet
( )How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( )She's All That
( )Calendar Girls
( )Sideways
( )Mars Attacks
( )Event Horizon
( )Ever After
(x)Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
(x)X-Men 1
( )X-Men 2
( )Catch Me If You Can
( )The Others
(x)Freaky Friday
( )The Hot Chick
( )Swimfan
( )Miracle
( )Old School
( )Ray
( )The Notebook
( )K-Pax
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( )Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( )A Walk to Remember
( )Boogyman
( )Hitch
( )The Fifth Element
( )Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
(x)Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
( )Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
( )Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
(x)Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x)Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedil
( )Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
( )Air Force One
( )For Richer or Poorer
( )Transporter 1
( )Transporter 2
( )People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
( )Sound Of music
(x)Parent Trap
( )The Burbs
(x)The Terminator
( )Empire Records
( )SLC Punk
( )Meet Joe Black
( )Wild Girls
(x)A Clockwork Orange
( )The Order
(x)Spiderman
(X!!)Spiderman 2
( )Amelie
(x)Mean Girls
(x)Shrek
(x)Shrek 2
( )The Incredibles
( )Collateral
( )The Fast & The Furious
( )2 Fast 2 Furious
( )Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow
( )Closer
(lol nope.)Titanic
( )Saved!
( )Bowling For Columbine
( )The Sixth Sense
( )Artificial intelligence (AI)
( )Love actually
( )Shutter
( )Ella Enchanted –
( )Princess Diaries
( )Princess Diaries 2
( )Constantine
( )Million Dollar Baby
( )Envy
( )Eurotrip
( )Malibu's Most wanted
( )Big Daddy
( )Black Sheep
(x!!)The Breakfast Club
(x)West side story
(x)A Christmas Story
( )Spanglish
( )Pulp Fiction
( )Sleepover
( )The Evil Dead
( )Killer Klowns From Outer Space
( )The Seed of Chucky
( )Vanilla Sky
(x)Nightmare Before Christmas
( )Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
( )Interview With The Vampire
( )The Crow
( )Purple Rain
( )Reservoir Dogs
( )Wayne's World
( )Wayne's World 2
( )21 Grams
( )Blow
(x haha)Edward Scissorhands
( )Clerks
(x)Beauty and the Beast
( )Guess who
( )Monster In-Law
(x)Elf
( )Stuart Little
( )Stuart Little 2
( )Mall Rats
( )Chasing Amy
( )Dogma
( )Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
( )Beetlejuice
(x)The Last Samurai
( )The Amityville Horror
( )The Aviator
(x)Romeo and Juliet
(x)Barbershop
( )Beauty Shop
( )Legally blonde
( )Legally blonde 2
( )The forgotten
( )Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen
( )The Grudge
that was a long list. but i finished when naruto download finished, so wootah. 46 out of something. and by the way, i have no intention on seeing titanic in the near future. everrr |
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| i think my comp has a virus... |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|01:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ...the humming of the computer | ] |
yeah, because it's slow and porn randommly pops up sometimes. wow, it's late, but i just slept for a few hours on the couch and then woke up again. and i'll take a shower in a little bit :) boy i'm tired. wow, so today i actually did stuff. in the morning, i had an SAT II, which sucked, but oh well. i'll find out if i get into college before i get those results anyway. And then after that, I went to the soccer breakfast which was great. jeez, imma miss soccer, this was truly a great season. and, we got t-shirts! like a lot of t-shirts lol. a sectional champion one, a Soccer is For Life long T, and one that cara made that i don't really get. but hey, who cares, it will provide some diversity in my t-shirts, ee. so then i went home eventually and used la red, and talked to piper but then she went away or something and i wanted to siesta, lol. and then me and ilse went to the movies. it was a nice time out..i picked her up at like 3:45 and then we went to walmart *shudder* cos i needed my medecine. and then we were almost late, ilse was freaking out about missing the beginning but i was like eh we'll make it, and it worked out :). and yeah, RENT was really good. like, not great though, but meaningful and nice. Seasons of Love makes me cry. and ilse made me cry when she remembered that we saw it in 7th grade, like 5 years ago, and now we saw it again when our lives are just about to change... mmm. lol but anyway, so then we were going to grab a bite to eat at the mexican place, but we figured it would be packed so we went to a different one that my parents always go to. and like, no one was in there, except this guy who went to my school like 5 years ago. the food was good, but i guess it was relatively early too, only 7. we talked for like 2 hours and just sat there talking about everything. it was good. <3 ah, i'm tired and need to shower and brush my teeth. and i have to make cookies with beth tomorrow, lol. lol, she's such a fun person to be around sort of. like, she can be a lil particular about thigns, and i'm sure tomorrow she will be "that's not exactly a cup of flour *grabs it from me*"---i guarantee it! lol but she's a funny kid and a violent Quaker. and i have a lot of homework..god i shouldn't even bother studying for calc, that was a horrible test..the tests are always so different from what we do in class. it's annoying and i don't like getting averages in the 80's grr. mm, i need to buy ppl christmas gifts, lol but not many this year. that's the advantage of not having a lot of friends :P haha. and suze is jewish, but i s'pose i should give her something anyway. it'll probably be cookies or something..i really want to make stuff this year *nods* but i'll prolly be busy. because of track. damn, i hate track. i really do..it sucks. i shouldn't have signed up for it..i shouldve just done soccer. :( oh well. there's nothing good about track, man. i don't want to go back in monday. *sigh* i was sleeping before..and thinking about RENT and it made me have dreams..nice dreams about i don't know what. but they were nice and warm and i can't wait to back to sleep in probably 20 minutes..mmm sleep. peace out bitches |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2005|09:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | it doesn't matter either | ] |
| [ | music |
| | it doesn't matter. | ] |
i don't know. maybe we're all just a bunch of scared unstable kids. who like to sit around and need to sit around.
i don't feel well. but i'm probably just tired and overwhelmed by the homework i should have done. i get so apathetic when it comes to work. but i chilled out. i kept getting dizzy today for some reason, but it's all right now.
who do you apologize to when you don't believe in God? who do you say "please forgive me, keep me safe" to when you're about to die? when you're scared out of your mind walking? what do you do?
planes still frighten me, esp. when they're coming from the south west.
i bet my face is red now, i feel that my ears are.
i wish i could skip school tomorrow lol. or be sick. but i still have to do my biography. and i'd miss the maths which would be annoying. nah, can't miss tomorrow. i can never miss school..there's never a day..too much to do. my face is so warm.
yeah, just a bunch of insecure kids, that's what we are. |
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